Tuesday, November 24

for serious though

I've been thinking a lot about relationships and people that purposely make you feel bad about yourself. I get it when it's accidental - I think I'm definitely guilty of that sometimes. Honesty is double-edged sword and I often forget to fully think about what I say before I say it. I also understand that as I get older, the people I know and surround myself with get more and more set in their ways. It becomes harder to be tolerant of differences in tastes, behavior, etc.

However, I have a handful of people in my life that will once in awhile say straight-up mean things, clearly intending to do harm. Things that I don't notice at first, but on recollection realize their intent. Things that aren't worth confrontation, but that add up to a fairly nasty package.

My musing here, and my hurt feelings, leads to this: At what point do I put my arm out and push a little? Separate myself from wanting these people to be close to me? Am I overestimating my relationships with these people?

And on a different note: Why, at 31, is it still so easy to get hurt feelings? When will I grow this thicker skin?


Karen said...

i don't think i will ever get that thick skin. my feelings are still easily bruised and i don't think that will ever change. what has changed is my ability to take a deep breath and shrug them off within 24hrs, whereas before i used to dwell over it for days.

and i appreciate you being understanding and accepting of our differences in tastes, behavior, etc. sometimes we are polar opposites, but we make it work ;o)

laydee nerd said...

I get what you're saying - my writing this was my deep breath; I shook it off not long after. I just get shocked at how much stuff stings sometimes.

Willa said...

It is nice to see that you are keeping up with the blog! I understand what you mean, and I can be guilty for even saying things to hurt other people's feelings especially to Keith, to get what I want. I need to stop doing that.

I think we are all just human, we're all just different. It's human nature to hurt the ones you are closest to. I guess it's just accepting that people have their good and bad days, but sometimes it does help to let them know they are being an ass but you still love them. Hope I am not too off on my comments! Take care.

Sooz said...

You have the right to call out anyone who makes you feel bad; when it occurs or when you have thought about it. I certainly try to do so.
If people are continually hurting your feelings, it may well be time to question the value of having them in your life. Who needs that shit? Certainly life isn't a never-ending procession of positive affirmations, but unless their comments are ringing true, who needs it?

Getting older doesn't mean your feelings get hurt less. In my experience it only means you may be better able to deal with the hurt, but it still hurts. It's what makes us humans.