This just in

I generally do not have sentimental feelings towards things.
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I am not in the least bit religious.
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I'm not so into the Christmas holiday. At all.

a.n.t.s.

Dude, I hate me some ants. They are cah-razy invasive, way too squirrely-quick (yes, it's a real word) and there are always one or two bionic survivors.

This evening, we were invaded by itty-bitty, tiny ants. MILLIONS OF THEM. We had no ant spray and when I looked up pet-friendly ant removal remedies, the solution I found included sprinkling chili powder all over the floor. Are you fucking kidding me? Can you imagine the results in cat and dog if they ingested said chili pepper?

Some sort of cleaning fluid was our eventual answer. But, now, I feel like this:

(photo credit)

The hipsters have gone too far

Dear American Apparel,

I have long-supported your ridiculous approach to fashion (not actually creating anything). Your soft t-shirts and androgynous advertising campaigns appeal to me in an unnatural way. You singlehandedly reversed my "no leggings, not now, not ever" stance (a flip-flop that I am not proud of).

However, this may be the end of the line for you and I and our hipsterish relationship. In no way can I get onboard with this nonsense. This offense goes so far, that I may have to trashtalk you to others.

Please stop,
LaydeeNerd